Planting Seeds

It’s been a little while. Seems like it is one thing after another lately. But that’s life isn’t it?

A crazy but amazing rollercoaster.

I have been pondering a few thoughts lately… Have you ever heard someone say God doesn’t give us anything we can’t handle? Or how about God gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers? I know I sure have and come to think of it, I bet I’ve said them a few times myself. But truly, have the phrases ever brought an ounce of comfort or encouragement during a difficult time. Does that sort of “motivating” line give explanation or provide comfort and reasoning when someone is facing something incredibly difficult in their life? I am sure the answers can vary to these questions depending on a number of different factors. A few I have in mind are the circumstance, the attitude of the person and how far along they are in the journey that has caused heartache.

I had a very intriguing lunch yesterday. It was sort of a blind date. I had met this girl once only momentarily where we had exchanged numbers to possibly meet up again.  She seemed friendly enough. I knew very little about her besides the fact that she had lived out of the country for a number of years and was struggling to connect again with girls our age. I could imagine she was experiencing some loneliness and thought maybe I could help. We decided to meet on my lunch break so she kindly picked me up from my office. Within minutes of being in her presence I could sense the feeling of vulnerability she almost wanted to feel around me. I instantly knew that God had plans for us to meet and that something big could come from our conversation at lunch. It sure did.

planting seeds 1

With this thought in mind I didn’t allow myself to feel any pressure. I actually said a silent prayer to myself that the Lord would guide me in conversation to follow my heart and know the right things to say to her. Very quickly in our conversation we began talking about our faith. The topic was brought up right after she shared with me her struggle to make new genuine friendships and develop a feeling of stability back home. I could relate to these feelings in a weird way; though I had never experienced something exactly similar. I had this sense that she couldn’t quite figure out what home was and that which was supposed to feel like home didn’t. Of course, I had been in that place. In fact, I am still working to cope with being in that place.

Feeling that way isn’t an easy task to deal with. It is actually very hard to describe. It feels like there’s a void and you aren’t sure what to do about it. I am going through similar feelings right now as I have many other times in my life. But currently I am going through a time in my life where I could really use a woman. But not just any woman, I could really use the woman who knew me best, the one who created me and could guide me in the direction I need. We all go through times in our life that can be trying and uneasy. I bet there is a special someone that comes to your mind right away when considering who helps you most when facing the difficult seasons in life. For me, that person was definitely my mom and since she has passed away I haven’t been able to find someone who can come close to filling her void and probably never will…at least not to the degree that she did.

I believe in life we experience many voids.

Throughout the journey of coping with a void there is a lot of heartache involved. I am very familiar with this feeling from losing my mom. But even long before this loss I came across other voids much smaller and easier to deal with. Each time I did, it left me thinking that the more we try to fill our voids with something that isn’t what is meant to be there, the more the pain actually hurts…especially if the “filler” is negative or unhealthy.

Things are meant to be temporary in life until eternity that is. Beautiful flowers do not last forever in a vase as much as we enjoy them in the moment and wish that they would last much longer.

This realization is something that takes time to come to acceptance with. But what has helped me is focusing on the more simple things in life (such as my flower example) to understand that life is meant to be appreciated while it lasts. That is why when we lose things it hurts so bad…especially when we lose the people we love. Unfortunately as we can go back to the flower store and buy another bouquet we cannot do the same with such things as people. However, what we can do though is hold onto our faith that God has a greater plan and that someday we will be reunited with the people we once lost. In that very moment we will never have to spend another day in heartache and away from the ones we love the most. That is what keeps me going; not those silly phrases that people share with us when we are hurting the most. It is faith. My faith in knowing there is something bigger and better. That God has a plan and in that plan there is absolutely no pain or suffering. There is no loneliness or heartache.

Believe it or not this is the very conversation I had yesterday during my lunch hour. It was so uplifting and rewarding. It was a reminder to myself that God is using me and that my testimony is important. By the end of our conversation she looked at me and smiled. With confidence she said, “I know that if you are overcoming your season of loneliness without your mother that I can overcome mine too.”

My advice to you: do not be afraid to share who you are and the journey you are going through to help those in need. God is using me to plant his seeds in those who are in need of them the very most. Always follow your heart. The reward is truly amazing.

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One thought on “Planting Seeds

  1. Randi, the way you express your self in these writings is wonderful. I wish I was able to help fill even a little of the void left by your mom but I know that is impossible. She was such a loving mother and she will always be in your heart and I am sure she is watching with pride and love as you progress in this life.

    Liked by 2 people

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